One of Grandpa’s favorite distinctions was between the silent and talkative selves. He would cite this profound distinction whenever we were worried or concerned.
He would start by saying the talkative self is a cauldron of desires, cravings, needs and wants. Pulled by attachments and emotions, this self is constantly desiring and wanting. Nothing would fulfill it completely. It feels that it is always lacking something without knowing what.
Furthermore, by mixing up need with want, it is oblivious to the fact that “nature is there to fulfill one’s need, not greed!” A product of our upbringing, this self is always articulating its greed through constantly wanting and desiring.
By making all the noise, the talkative self convinces us that it is the only self there is.
However, there is another self, quietly watching this talkative one. This silent self, acting as our conscience, is our real guide. It instructs without saying anything loudly. A voice that instructs silently!
When the talkative self pursues desires outstripping the bounds of health and social etiquette, the silent self watches this crazy drama. However, it instructs silently as follows: Don’t do it or you are going to hurt yourself or be sorry later. The talkative self hears it, but puts these instructions on the back burner.
This leads to a generation of stressed-out individuals who constantly desire. “I want to be better than my neighbor, my colleague, my co-worker and my boss in terms of my ‘net worth’ but not in terms of my ‘self-worth’.” This constant seeking, desiring and craving for a competitive edge on others drives the wheels of our social self, leading to enormous stress and strain.
Society’s emphasis on material possessions, leading to the utter discontentment of individuals, has become the hallmark of our century.
Grandpa would instruct that meditation has come to rescue this doomed human being.
In a non-threatening way, meditation works with these distractions by empowering the individual to take control of oneself and one’s surroundings. Meditation provides a gentle technique to take the individual from the talkative to the silent self through the aid of a mantra, or a sound-symbol, or consciously watching this drama unfold itself.
This soft and gentle approach does not inject anything into the delicate system of the body, unlike medications. It goes directly to the problem by reducing the stresses and strains faced by the present-day person.
Suggested exercise
Sit in a chair or on a mat next to a wall. Keep your hips, back and head straight up. Keep your eyes open. Witness your talkative self unfurl its drama before you. Notice how it jumps from one idea to another. Watch its unfolding without being dragged by its contents. Be a bystander without judgement! Do this exercise for five minutes and then resume your normal activities. After a week you can increase the time to 10 minutes. This exercise can also be done in bed before falling asleep and getting up in the morning. It is a good way to end and start your day.