It can be difficult to balance a full-time career and be a wife but throw football season in the mix, and there’s a full schedule. Meet Alex Samber, wife of Stone Memorial’s Head Football Coach Derik Samber and a senior public finance attorney.
Alex and Derik have found the secret to a happy marriage plus football. Football is ingrained in their life. They allow football to be part of their marriage while making intentional quality time for one another.
“I think [football has] just always been something that he’s been so passionate about, and I find that so attractive in him,” said Alex. “I guess that’s one of the main things I love about him. He puts so much energy and effort into it.”
They are making room for a new addition to their family. Baby Addison Samber will join them in January.
With all of this on Alex’s plate, the Chronicle talked to her about how she handles everything and supports her husband.
“I see that my husband impacts a lot of people, and just to be able to be alongside him and support him in that, it does give me a lot of pride,” said Alex. “I’m really proud of him.”
Derik shared how he supports his wife with her job and welcoming a baby girl to their family.
“I think I’ve gotten better over time,” said Derik. “But just really trying to be intentional with date nights or if she’s getting home later, I’m getting home early, show up with flowers or – and it’s hard. I know it sounds stupid, but just turning my phone off and just leaving some people, letting myself have a missed call, or just trying to isolate some time and being intentional about us getting time together, whatever that wants to look like for her.”
They met through her twin sisters: Klaudia Bishop and Kristen McWilliams. The twins were in Derik’s class when they tried to put their matchmaking skills to the test. A few years went by, and Alex and Derik met in the grocery store. They fell in love. They have been happily married for nine years.
They told the Chronicle that the most important thing between them is the time that they intentionally make for each other. Alex said that to be a successful coach’s wife, one has to be committed to the sport their husband coaches.
“I would say what I’ve learned more than anything is that be intentional and leave as much as you can at the field or at the office, at the school,” said Alex. “And even when you can’t leave at all, at least shut it down and just be intentional with your family.”
Alex feels what the Stone Memorial football team feels. When they win and when they lose, she feels all of it.
“It’s definitely something I feel in my gut,” said Alex. “It’s either something I’m really excited about or it’s something it hits hard either way. It’s either really exciting or really upsetting. I think it’s just because of how much effort and energy he puts into it. I say often that we share energies, like in the sense that if he’s having a good day, I’m having a good day, and so I want him to be successful.”
Alex shares a little about what Derik is like when Stone loses a game. She said he has learned to not wear it on his sleeve as much. He is always positive, motivating and encouraging the next week, she said.
“It’s tough because when you lose a game on Friday night, you’ve got to make sure that that doesn’t fall into next week, and he’s good at that,” said Alex.
A marriage also rides on support for a spouse. Alex supports her husband in the way of trying to be a “sounding board” for him.
“I try to attend all the games,” said Alex. “And I do think it’s not hard for me. It’s not something I have to put effort in, but I do take a strong interest in the games and how things are going. We’ll talk about who he’s playing next week. We’ll talk about some of their players and just being a sounding board and being there for him and giving him a break when he needs it.”
You can catch Alex at almost every game both at home and away. She told the Chronicle that is how she supports her husband, too.
The Sambers have a balance when it comes to taking care of the house. During the summer when football is not in session, Derik handles most of the chores and house maintenance. During football season, Alex manages the house. They both work together to share the responsibility when the other can’t give an equal 50%.
“I actually have a pretty demanding work schedule, but I get to work from home some, so there’s a little bit of flexibility when I can get things done,” said Alex. “But sometimes our house just isn’t as clean during football season. And that’s okay.”
Alex shows her support for the football players, too. The Sambers often host the Stone football players at their house to watch the Sunday games and feed them a meal during the season.
“She is a huge help too,” said Derik. “We’ll host the players six, eight out of the ten Sundays of the year leading into the game week. We’ll host them, and we’ll either buy them dinner or cook for them or whatever or the coaches some nights. She’ll have food and drinks ready and that sort of thing.”
Alex explains that her husband’s job is more than just planning and directing plays on Friday nights.
“I think one of the things that I did not realize or expect as a coach’s wife is that he has so much more on his plate than just X’s and O’s,” said Alex. “It’s almost like being a head coach there’s so much responsibility that falls on him. I mean he’s getting calls from players, parents, other coaches [and] opposing coaches. It is something all the time. So, when he asks me, ‘How was your day?’ and he turns his phone off, he looks at me in the eyes and really wants to know– it’s really meaningful. You know, he’s, like, very intentional about that. So, that’s really helpful. Because I know how much pressure is on him, so when he makes it a priority to communicate and be there for me, it’s huge.”
Alex grew up with football in her life. She said she grew up watching and cheering for the Tennessee Volunteers, where she also attended college. It also holds a special place in her memories as it was the location where Derik asked her to marry him.
“I love football,” said Alex.