At the tender age of 21, I didn’t quite know what to expect from motherhood, but I did know that holding another little person who I had nurtured next to my heart while she grew able to live outside the womb was both frightening and exhilarating.
The first time I felt my baby move, tears of joy sprang to my eyes, and I wore a perpetual grin for days as if pregnancy and motherhood were a precious secret that only I enjoyed.
I never liked to play with dolls; the outdoors and playing ball interested me more, but the real thing, an actual living, breathing person growing within me almost took my breath away.
Toward the end of my first pregnancy, I couldn’t wait for that little princess to make her arrival. The awe was still there, but to be honest, the discomfort of swollen ankles and carrying around the bulk of what felt like a buffalo added to my anticipation for Melinda’s entrance to the outside world.
Her delivery was not eventful, and Dr. Holmes told me I should think about speaking at childbirth classes for other expectant mothers. I had heard war stories about childbirth from older ladies and was definitely glad that I didn’t have one to tell. I actually felt a little superior to those who grumbled so, until I realized with my second pregnancy that each one is a little different.
The fact that I have been able to experience the joy and wonder of pregnancy and motherhood is definitely a highlight of my life. Just as pregnancy and childbirth are different with each experience, those little people are all different, as well.
Experts say that birth order has a lot to do with the attributes of each child. I believe the correlation is supposed to be because parents generally relax, as they grow more experienced with child rearing and parent accordingly. But as usual, the experts only have an opinion. God creates each child with the characteristics He wants them to have no matter their birth order.
With my brood, they definitely have unique qualities that actually go against the experts opinions. My second born has the attributes generally thought to be those of the first-born child. I realized a long time ago that God has the final say in all of our lives if we allow it. He has a special plan for each of us, and it is so much better than anything we could think up on our own.
When I held each of my little people in my arms for the first time, I could only imagine who they would become and what they would accomplish, but God knew them, as they Bible says, when they were in their mother’s womb.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. “ (New International Version Psalm 139.13-14)
Jan Miller is a retired Mississippi school educator