A widow’s gathering is not something I necessarily expected to be a part of — at least not until I reached my senior years.
When that first invitation came after Daniel’s death, I looked forward to it with apprehensive anticipation.
Several years down the road, I have come to enjoy such events and dream of hosting my own one day. Something shifted inside me when I learned that dining with others was not to take the place of a husband; it was simply a little bonus in my life of today. It is not meant to take the place of that one and only person. Yet, embracing the kindness from others is a form of receiving love from the Lord.
Today was one of those special events. Judith, a dear friend and cousin, accompanied me to Indiana where we attended a widows’ luncheon. It was a special day. The time was shared with 50-plus widows besides the ladies and girls at Worthington Christian Fellowship.
It was quite easy to see that many hours of prep had gone into planning, making yummy food, and decorating with feminine touches of menu lists, flowers, and the like.
First thing upon arrival was registration where we signed in and wrote out name tags. “Gloria Yoder” — yes, that’s me — at a widows’ lunch! But it was okay. I was not deprived or cheated to be where I was called to be as a “husband-less” individual. I joined the large circle of ladies who were gathering in the back of the auditorium of their church building.
Cousin Deborah, who spent most of her years minus an earthly father, took the lead, welcoming everyone and making announcements. We handed the mic around the circle and introduced ourselves. There was no way I could remember all the names, yet there was that deep feeling inside that told me that each of these 50 ladies had their own story. (How I would love to have all of you who have walked this path sit around my table and share your own story with me!)
After introductions, a group of ladies from Worthington sang several songs including the tear-jerker, “He’s the Healer of Broken Hearts.” Those words were so true and the melody so soothingly perfect.
Next we were all ushered into the dining hall where we found places to sit at the attractively decorated tables. There were pretty dishes, gorgeous flowers, iced coffee glasses with Scripture verses, and so on. We were served family style — mashed potatoes, gravy, grilled chicken, noodles, green beans, cornbread salad, and dinner rolls.
We filled out sheets of paper on what we wanted for dessert where various pies and ice cream were offered. When my sister-in-law who was sitting at my table saw I was stalling on my dessert, she offered to put it back in the freezer “for now.” It wasn’t hard for her to see that I was having some deep feelings as I thought of sharing with these dear ladies. When Cousin Deborah had asked if I would share about our story and God’s message of hope, I wanted to, yet I also had some mixed feelings. I knew that there would only be one way of truly reaching hearts — that is when God does the talking, without me getting my personal agendas involved.
God knew what I needed; before it was my time to share, the sweetest, most innocent little choir stood to sing. Over 20 children ages 3-6 lined up where they sang “Jesus Loves Me,” “I’ve Got the Joy, Joy, Joy,” and “Build Your House Upon the Lord.” I was soothed, yes, I was encouraged.
As I stood, I thought of all the stories each of these dear ladies must have, whether widowed or not. All have their story, their heart pain, and yes — all have a Healer ready to touch that brokenness. We need not understand it — there is One who has got us covered, whether we feel it or not.
A prayer wrapped up the sharing time, and more songs by the Worthington ladies.
On a lighter note, a button game came next. Buttons were strewn over the tables, then each of us was allowed a button for any question that was read off to which we could answer with “yes.” They all kind of revolved around life during and since the time with our husband. There were things like: Take a button if your husband had blue eyes, or take a button if your husband had eggs for breakfast.
At one point the little ones who sang in that blessed choir came with gift bags with cards they had colored and mini loaves of homemade sweet bread. The latte glasses and pens on the tables were also for us to take home in our bags. May God bless each one who sacrificed their time and energy to bring a blessing to our hearts!
By mid-afternoon we were dismissed. It was good to connect with widows in various stages of life. I especially enjoyed talking with one lady whose husband passed when she was also 32 years old. Her story left me spellbound — at the time she was widowed she had a set of triplets who were 4 and a 1-year-old. Yes, time moves on, her daughters are grown. Dear ones, right now we only have today. What will we choose to do with it? The memories of it may be vivid or dulled by tomorrow, but our choices will affect the destiny of our soul. “Lord, lead us in all You have for the moment!”