It’s kinda’ hard to believe that the original “Mean Girls” movie from 2004 is 20 years old now.
It came out the same year I graduated high school. Love it or hate it, the Lindsay Lohan flick pretty much encapsulated the zeitgeist of the early ‘00s. There was a VERY specific point in American culture that occupied the space between 9/11 and the Great Recession, and for better or for worse, “Mean Girls” captured the aura of the era as well as anything.
Looking back on it, one of the reasons “Mean Girls” has become such a beloved throwback to yesteryear is because it represents a long-lost epoch in our society. It came out in a time when the internet and cellphones were ubiquitous but just before social media and smartphones took over. So it’s one of those movies that feels relevantly relatable and hopelessly distant at the same time.
Considering how much the times have changed over the last two decades, the premise of a “Mean Girls” reboot in 2024 has some promise. The original movie didn’t touch upon issues like cyber bullying and influencer clout chasing, which are ripe ground for a decent modern-day skewering of teen culture.
Alas, this newfangled “Mean Girls” is a major disappointment. Despite the update to “current” times, the dialogue and core plot line is virtually unchanged from the original film. You’ve heard of “scene by scene” remakes before, but this one takes it to an absurd degree. Apparently, whoever penned this thing forgot that jokes don’t actually work if we ALREADY heard the punchline 20 years ago.
You know the story by now. Taking up the role of protagonist is Aussie actress Angourie Isabelle Theresa Rice (good luck fitting all of that on the film poster, by the way), a nerdy transplant student who quickly becomes the prey of a ravenous pack of self-absorbed airheads led by Renee Rapp. Slowly but surely, the eleventh grade equivalent of a cold war breaks out between the two, and the rest of the plot is something we’ve seen on TBS re-runs a million times by now.
At this point, I think it’s time to address the obvious here. Despite the fact that these characters are supposed to be teenagers, it seems like all of the students are played by actors and actresses in their 30s. There’s one character who is supposed to be a junior who I am CONVINCED is at least 40. They might as well have just used the same actresses from the first movie — I’m sure the overall effect wouldn’t be that much different.
Speaking of which, quite a few cast members from the ‘04 movie have cameos. And sadly, all of them look REALLY glum and lifeless in their role reprisals. Tina Fey, in particular, has the stare of a hardened convict throughout the entirety of the movie.
Which brings me to the aspect of the movie that REALLY stings. Literally the ONLY key difference between this movie and the original is that, in the ‘24 do-over, it’s not just a high school comedy, it’s a high school comedy MUSICAL. All I can say is that the original song and dance numbers here are about as soothing to the eardrum as one of those emergency alert system horns. What’s next, a musical reimagining of “Full Metal Jacket” or “The Deer Hunter?”
There are some aspects of the remake/rehash/retread that work, but the pacing, structure and tempo is way off. At the end of the day, “Mean Girls ‘24” feels more like a straight-to-DVD knockoff of the original (and vastly superior) 2004 movie — I’m sure it sounded great on the drawing board, but in execution, this thing is just a colossal snoozer.
At my most generous, the best I can give this one is a meager TWO PIECES OF POPCORN OUT OF FOUR rating. Does this mean the found-footage horror version of “Napoleon Dynamite” is right around the corner?