Not long ago I did one of the worst things imaginable! I really did! I had a political argument, one that became heated, and with a dear New England friend now in upstate NY, one who’s survived a terrible bout with cancer.
More, she’s among the smartest and most psychologically aware humans I’ve ever known. For a long time she was a topflight, caring nurse. Culture? Though no pedant or show-off, she’s read everything under the sun, it feels, amazingly eclectic in her tastes, and well-informed.
EXCEPT on today’s political scene! There she displays a certain forgivable ignorance. Including re the absolutely scandalous southern border situation that’s obtained for several lethal years now.
As we hit that particular topic and batted it around, the mustard rose up inside, and we both started over-talking each other, inflaming the situation, and of course it ended badly.
To reiterate, you simply can’t discuss politics with a friend who has differing opinions (and sources of info).
Even one who seems willfully blind on a few key issues. But hey, a person who also knows FAR more than you do on many other ones! Including ways of planting, cooking, repairing and other such necessary endeavors.
So I learned a lesson that day, and suffered from it, feeling a goodly amount of guilt and contrition.
At least within a week or so, the two of us thankfully moved back from the ledge. Very fortunately, indeed, we returned to being the same good friends we’d been before the blow-out.
In sum, you’re well advised to “lay off the politics” with such types, exactly as Bogie’s Rick told two guys (French and German) busy quarreling in his Casablanca night club. Especially when it comes to friends of long standing who’ve done a great deal for you, and whom you can’t afford to lose.
I suppose there’s nothing really new in what I’m telling you here. Because for a long time people have warned about broaching divisive, even incendiary topics of conversation, particularly religion and … politics.
But today’s situation in the latter realm seems unusually dire and crucial, to me at least, and obviously to many others. We’re some 35 trillion in debt! So you’re just going to let myriad illegals put us further into unpayable territory, deeper into national bankruptcy, plus bring more senseless, horrendous crime (as if we need it), more lethal drugs, and the rest? Sure some good ones arrive, too, and it’s nice to have a caring heart, and if a Dem, to gain potential voters for your side. But isn’t all this a rather serious matter? Doesn’t addressing such issues require at least some use of cogent, apposite facts?
However, those on basically a different ideological flank obviously won’t like or want those facts to be cited. Naturally, they have every right to turn away from them, particularly again, if we’re speaking of good friends who are really indispensable one-offs in your life.
Ah me, such vital and important ones! Why needlessly irritate them? Why rattle their personal cages, disturbing their good cheer and equanimity, their very enjoyment of wings or steak (she’s, however, a vegetarian); and for no pressing reason? Do you think you or they are somehow going to solve or mitigate (even a smidgen) these huge national problems we have?
You just don’t want to get into situations of no return, rather like the Eagles limned in an old hit, where one sees it his way, she an opposite one, and meanwhile, something beautiful and unique ebbs away and finally, disappears.
The table legs propping up such relationship furniture (excuse the clumsy analogy) can get chipped away till they collapse. Is it really worth it to facilitate such a sad process in the name of … politics?
I think not. The deep friendship being liege lord here, a priority worth nurturing and maintaining, exactly as one would a Jag or Maserati.
I guess I should now stop lecturing and take my own darned advice.
Which despite my being flawed, as all are, I’ll henceforth try to do. (Till maybe that Dijon mustard rises up inside all over again!)