For a reason here and there recently, I had to refer to myself by name. You know, instead of saying “I” or “me,” I had to say “Dean Poling” in reference to, well, me.
I’m no fan of this type of “Tarzan” speaking. I call it Tarzan speaking because it is similar to how Tarzan spoke in old movies.
Tarzan would stand on a limb and before he gave out that great yell or wrestled a lion, Tarzan would say something like, “Me Tarzan, you Jane,” or “Tarzan need to comb hair. Perhaps, wrestle with lion claws will lead to Tarzan’s hair being combed.”
Some sports figures and politicians speak in this manner.
They refer to themselves as if they are a brand of goods. For example, candidate Joe Blow might say, “What’s good for the average American is good for Joe Blow.” Or athlete Joe Slow might say, “Joe Slow is not about losing. Joe Slow is about winning.”
I didn’t have to actually say a sentence like either Joe Blow or Joe Slow, but I still had to make reference to myself by my name. My e-mail at work for example is dean.poling@gaflnews.com Usually, you can spell that out and never have to say your name, but recently I said it and I felt silly saying it.
Even if it is a politician or a sports star, people always sound silly to me when they refer to themselves by name. It is strange to hear someone refer to themselves by name because it sounds like they have disconnected themselves from themselves.
Or my mind pictures them as Tarzan swinging from a vine; or I think of them as having green skin like another self talker, the Hulk, whose catch-phrase has long been, “Hulk smash!”
It’s hard to take someone too seriously if you think they have lost track of who they are, or you are thinking of them as being the Hulk.
“What’s good for the average American is good for the Hulk” — unless the Hulk is smashing and that’s not good for anyone except maybe the Hulk. That’s what my mind does when someone refers to themselves by name. They become the Hulk or Tarzan.
That said, it also dawned on me that if everyone spoke this way, it would make social situations so much easier for so many folks who, like Dean Poling, are horrible at remembering names.
Think about it. If you have trouble remembering names, wouldn’t it be great if everyone spoke like Tarzan or the Hulk? You would be at a party and someone approaches you, your mind might start scrambling trying to recall the name, and then the person would say, “Lisa Loo-Loo would like to offer Dean an hors d’oeuvre,” or “John So-and-so is so glad Dean is here. It has been so long since John So-and-so has seen Dean.”
Wouldn’t that be great? Given the way most of us talk, we’d be referring to ourselves by name every few seconds and so would everyone else because folks who can’t remember names would have a reminder every couple of seconds.
I must admit remembering the names of people who refer to themselves by name. I see that person and my mind clicks, “Oh, yeah, that’s the Lisa Loo-Loo who refers to herself as Lisa Loo-Loo.” And if I can’t immediately recall the name, Lisa Loo-Loo will help me remember her name in a matter of seconds.
Maybe self-talkers are doing a great social service by referring to themselves by name. So, Dean Poling is all for this idea. It sounds like the way to go to Dean Poling. Dean Poling thinks this idea could be a real revolution for all society …
Oh yeah, Dean Poling smash!
Dean Poling is an editor with The Valdosta Daily Times and editor of The Tifton Gazette.