CROSSVILLE CHRONICLE. March 31, 1909.
NOT OF MUCH CONSEQUENCE. Series of clips included in the Chronicle.
Little Man, Away In the Corner, Was Only Owner of Mine. “Hello, Harry! How are you? You seem to have a pretty nice office here. How are you making out?”
“I’m at the top of the ladder. I am the vice-president of this mining concern.”
“Is that so? You do a large business, I guess?”
“Immense. The responsibility weighs on me quite heavily, but I’ve got to shoulder it. No way of getting around that, you know.”
“The man over there at that elegant desk is one of the officers of the company, I suppose?”
“Yes. He’s the secretary. And those other two men at those fine desks are his assistants. He has a wonderful amount of work to do. But remember, he is a first-class man. We pay him a big salary.”
“The man over there behind that railing is another official, is he not?”
“Yes, That’s the treasurer. He’s another great man. We pay him big money’ but we require a large bond. Got to do it. We handle too much money to run any risks.”
“And who is that little wizened face old man over there in the corner at that old desk?”
“That’s old Banks. He — ahem —owns the mine, you know.” —the Bohemian.
Suffragettes Honor Leaders. The Woman Suffrage association of New Jersey, recently celebrated the fiftieth anniversary of Lucy Stone letting her household goods, including her baby’s cradle, be sold for taxes in Orange, as a protest against taxation without representation.
The suffragists say that this was the first instance in the world of a woman refusing to pay taxes for this reason. Since then there have been many similar instances.
The last and most notable perhaps was the case of Lady Steel, who let her goods be sold at auction in Edinburgh, Scotland.
Good Talk. Senator Beveridge, during a recent visit to Portland, talked about oratory.
“The campaign,” he said, “has given us oratory more remarkable for quantity than quality. True oratory is that which brings results, is that which converts an audience of enemies to an audience of supporters. Such oratory is rare.
“I have a friend whose wife, a ‘suffragette,’ is a great orator. Her speeches from the platform are wonderful, and her husband the other day gave me an illustration of the efficiency of her private speeches. “An agent called on my wife this afternoon,’ he said,’and tried to sell her a new wrinkle eradicator.” “And how did the man make out?” said I. “He left in a half hour,’ was the answer, ‘with a gross of bottles of wrinkle eradicator of my wife’s own manufacture that he had purchased from her.”
An Alibi. The milkman stood before her nervously twirling his hat in his hands. “So,” she said, sternly, “you have come at last?” “Yes, madam, You sent for me, I believe,” he replied. “I wish to tell you that I found a minnow in the milk yesterday morning.” “I am sorry, madam; but if the cows will drink from the brook instead of from the trough, I cannot help it.” — Harper’s Weekly.
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Old Uncle Gib is a weekly historical feature published each week. Old Uncle Gib is a pseudonym that was used by S.C. Bishop, who founded the Chronicle in 1886. Bishop actively published the Chronicle until 1948.