We the Fellowship of We Who Worry all possess Worst-Case Scenario Generators (WCSGs). WCSGs act as a sort of early warning system, raising the alarm about possible future disasters well in advance. My friend Ken, who has a great WCSG, points out that this early warning allows you to put in some really good worry time until the potential disasters really do or (more frequently) do not happen.
We Who Worry believe it is highly effective at staving off disasters. Daytime worry works fairly well, but the greatest benefits come from the wee-hours-worry that wakes you and keeps you up in the middle of the night. That sort of worry is several times more effective than afternoon worry.
The problem is that, in real life, worry’s effectiveness in staving off disasters is basically zero. The mathematicians among us will recognize that anything multiplied by zero is zero, which means that nighttime worry is truly no more effective in Disaster Prevention than daytime worry.
In fact, it could be that worry has a detrimental effect on our ability to cope with possible crises. Consider this for a moment — are you better able to handle stressful situations when you are well rested, calm and centered, or when you are an exhausted emotional mess from one night (or several) of first-class worrying?
In my own life, I have found strategies to reduce worrying’s negative impact on my capacity to cope. Sufficient sleep is crucial. You know all the strategies for that — turn off all screens at least an hour before bed, a nighttime routine, etc. I have found that laying on my back with my hands on my sternum helps calm me back to sleep when I wake up worried. Exercise helps reduce the stress that raises reactivity and wears out your body so it can rest. And if it’s really a problem, there are good non-habit-forming medications that can help.
Probably the best remedy for the chronic worrier is talking with people who either don’t have or don’t listen to their WCSGs. They can help you figure out if there truly is a cause of concern. If so, the question becomes whether or not there is anything you can do to Be Prepared.
Being prepared requires us to use our imaginations more productively. Do you know the quote, “Worry is a misuse of the imagination?” It is so wonderfully short, to the point, and provocative. It also makes sense. Children start to worry about monsters at around the time their imaginations take off, around age 3. Worry and imagination are linked. This quote affirms that We Who Worry are imaginative, creative people, and nudges us to use our creativity in more productive ways.
For example, we can use our creativity to Be Prepared. Being Prepared beats worrying because you have found where your power is — the things you can actually change. You can use your imagination to take creative steps. Being Prepared is empowering, so long as it doesn’t become obsessive. We have to be clear about what we can and cannot control.
A great spiritual teacher named Jesus once talked about needless worry. He said, “Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to the span of your life? If then you are not able to do so small a thing as that, why then do you worry about the rest? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; yet I assure that even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these.” I have always loved that passage, which appears in chapter 12 in Luke’s gospel.
It fills in the gap for those situations where there may be cause of concern, but there is really nothing you can do to prepare. When you truly have no power, you need faith or trust — whether it be in yourself and your ability to cope when the time comes, or in the loving support of friends and family, or in some Higher Power. Acceptance is also a good place to be in such cases, but it can be hard to get there.
So when your Worst-Case Scenario Generator kicks into overdrive, try not to listen to it, or at least not by yourself. Instead of worrying try imagining that, whatever happens, you will be able to cope, most likely with the support of friends and family. If you’re lucky, you may have a community to aid your coping. And even if you cannot cope, will worrying about it in advance have helped in any way? Will it have added to your quality of life? It has never proven beneficial for me, which is what I am now a Recovering Worrier.
The Rev. Tess Baumberger is the minister at First Universalist Church of Essex. Midweek Musings rotates among Cape Ann clergy.