My kids have started snarking on my inevitable decline.
“You’re starting to look old.”
“Yeah, your hair is getting thin.”
“Get a wig.”
I agree with them, of course, but I also remind them getting older is simply what happens to people when they don’t die.
“It’s either this face or a casket; what do you want from me?”
I also remind them age is relative. Granted, I am post-youth, but I can still play catch with them, right? I can still help them build a snowman, and, most importantly during this season of our lives, I still have the dexterity needed to drive them around. And around.
And around.
Despite their verbal abuse, however, I wasn’t feeling old at all until my teenage daughter informed me, without a hint of compromise, that she absolutely was wearing the white sneakers with pink stripes or she wasn’t even dressing up at all.
Standing in the kitchen just minutes before we needed to leave for school, this scene was supposed to have been a moment I’d imagined for years. Our darling daughter – our firstborn; our princess – would go to school and smile brightly for her very first Academic Hall of Fame picture. She would be wearing a lovely red dress with, apparently, matching tennis shoes?
“Uh … no.”
This was about as far as the conversation went, however. She stormed out of the room to finish her hair. Meanwhile, I finished my breakfast and wisely decided to shut up. We drove to school – in silence – then she marched into the building to join dozens of other young ladies wearing dresses and, yes, fashionable sneakers.
She was right, I was wrong, and I was once again taught a lesson I thought I’d already learned: some battles aren’t worth fighting; sometimes you just have to let things go.
That evening after making peace we all gathered in the living room and enjoyed what had once been a weekly tradition – Friday Night Movie Night. As the kids have gotten older it’s become more of a challenge to find movies that appeal to all three of them, but Pixar’s “Up” still fits the bill. If you’re not familiar with the film, I would recommend watching it as soon as you can, but in the meantime just know that the movie centers on a curmudgeonly old man unwilling to let go of his past. Carl – voiced perfectly by the late Ed Asner – floats all the way to South America to fulfill a promise made as children between he and his recently-deceased wife.
This errand takes a series of foolish turns, however, and Carl finally realizes the right thing to do is forget his plans to settle near Paradise Falls and instead rescue the tagalong boy who desperately needs his help. Because his home – and mode of transportation – is being lifted by thousands of helium balloons, however, the only way he can do that is by literally letting go of his past. Thus, old furniture, knick-knacks, and heirlooms taking up space are unceremoniously tossed out of his house. Unhindered by the burden, Carl is able to rise up and save the day.
It’s a clever climax, but the moment also offers up an immediately profound message: sometimes we need to toss what’s behind us to help those in front.
The writer of Hebrews offers his readers a similar message. After drawing on the faith’s heroes for inspiration in chapter eleven, he begins chapter twelve by imploring his audience “to throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” In order to live out their divinely sanctioned destiny, the Hebrews in question – and, by extension, all of us – needed to take a hard look at their bad behavior and rise above it.
It’s often a daily exercise, though, this tossing out of “furniture,” especially when the needs of those in front of us are changing so quickly. My teenage daughter, for example, certainly didn’t need fashion advice from me of all people. She needed breakfast and a quick hug to get her ready for a day that was already going to be stressful. For that morning – for a few more mornings, at least – she needed a ride to school with some fun music or a silly dad joke, not a cold shoulder burdened with enough foolish pride to crack open the floorboards.
Regardless, most afternoons nowadays she drives us wherever it is we need to go. She has her white slip and is often eager to flex her increasing independence. Soon she’ll be driving to school on her own – with or without the sneakers – and before I blink, I suppose, she’ll just be driving away.
And that probably will make me feel old.
Joshua Robison lives in Effingham, where he teaches English at Effingham High School. He can be reached at josh.robsn@gmail.com