My family and I discussed earlier in the year which band or musical artist we had all seen live. We are a small group, and while we have some long-distance relatives, our local group is very close-knit and includes my wife, sister, brother-in-law, two sons, two daughters-in-law, and my lovely granddaughter.
All of us except my granddaughter had seen Heart; the next one close was Todd Rundgren, who I had seen over 200 times and, on various occasions, brought along a family member or two. The only one in the family who hadn’t seen Todd in concert was my daughter-in-law Erica.
That wasn’t for a lack of effort; Erica was a busy lady. Even before she married my son, she studied abroad, then started a career as a teacher, got married, had a child, and then got sick.
For over seven years, Erica balanced life as a teacher, wife, and mom, all while battling an aggressive form of brain cancer. Just when it seemed like the stars aligned, and she could attend a Todd show, another surgery or setback came up. I always figured there would be a next time.
By July of this year, Erica’s health was beginning to decline. She was just 38 years old but had already had multiple brain surgeries, rounds of chemo, and even a hip replacement. She was walking with a cane, and loud noises were becoming hard to handle, so when Todd came to the Riv in July, I didn’t imagine her being able to attend.
I had purchased a single ticket, and my sister Kathleen bought two for her and my brother-in-law. Even though we bought tickets separately, we ended up with seats next to each other. When my sister couldn’t go, she offered up the tickets, and Erica said she wanted to go.
I remember seeing her arrive, walking gingerly with my son close by to keep her safe. It took a lot of effort, more than I have ever put in to see a concert, showing her determination. She made it through the first set, then went home. Even though she didn’t like getting her picture taken, she captured the moment. After Erica left, my granddaughter stayed with me until the end of the show.
The reality is that Erica wasn’t there to see Todd Rundgren; she was there for me. She knew how much his music meant to me, and it was a late-in-life gesture. She passed away on Sept. 15, but not before she could say we all had one artist in common that we had all seen live.
Music creates a sense of belonging and shared identity, reminding us of the importance of connection and community in our lives.
Erica had her favorites, including Luther Vandross, so whenever I hear a Luther song, I will always be reminded of her — although, to be fair, I don’t need to be reminded how much I miss her.
Her attendance at the show was a gift, reminding us of life’s fragility and encouraging us to cherish moments with loved ones by adding songs to the soundtrack. Take time to listen to the music the people you love listen to, and find time to experience it with them. You won’t regret it.