I have heard that talking to chatbots or virtual assistants or whatever other AI device you have lying around is a growing trend. Not the “Alexa, how many ounces are in a cup?” kind of talking. More like personal and sincere talking, as in, “Alexa, what am I doing with my life and how come no one remembered my birthday?”
When asked why people are having “conversations” with something that is basically a space age version of Dial the Time, the reply has been that people want to feel like someone — or something — is really and truly listening to them.
I admit I have asked our dogs questions when no one else was around, which is darn close to asking Alexa a question, but at least the dogs look like they’re listening to me. Alexa may be able to hear what you’re saying and come up with a reply, but I am doubtful that Alexa is capable of truly caring. That would be like expecting the robots in “Westworld” or “The Stepford Wives” to show concern over your cold sore.
I have a friend who was quite upset one day because she discovered that her husband was using an app that was, well, basically an AI girlfriend. This app told him he was smart, handsome, charming — all the things girlfriends say before they become wives.
My friend was at first hurt, then mad, and finally resigned.
“It’s not like he has a real girlfriend,” she pointed out.
True, but most wives I know would tolerate an AI girlfriend about as well as they’d tolerate a former flesh and blood girlfriend coming to spend Thanksgiving weekend and staying through New Year’s Day.
But it does make you wonder why people are feeling so unheard that they need to resort to electronics. Is it because we’re all so distracted by our own devices that when our loved ones are talking, sometimes all we hear is a distant buzz buzz buzz that’s easy to ignore?
Is it because people want to talk but they don’t especially want to hear what anyone else is saying? Is it because we’re scared of listening to others because we might not like what we hear?
Or maybe we really did lose ALL our social skills during covid. That’s a distinct possibility. Go out anywhere and all you see are people hunched over their phones. Saying hello when passing each other on the sidewalk has gone the way of pantyhose and antenna TV. Perhaps listening skills bit the dust along with holding the door open for the person behind you, sending thank you notes, and asking people how their vacation was.
There are more people in the world than ever before. Which means there are more ears in the world than ever before. It shouldn’t be so hard to find someone with a pulse to listen to you. Of course, a lot of those ears have ear buds in them which makes listening to anyone other than what’s playing on their phone at that moment difficult.
Is there a solution? Well, yes, as a matter of fact there is. The next time someone is talking to you, try listening. Really listening. Active listening, like we all used to practice on first dates. Put down your phone, shut your laptop, and listen. Then process what you’ve heard, and form an appropriate response.
Do I think this will happen? Not really. Do I think it’s worth a shot? Absolutely. Because if we don’t, “Westworld” and “The Stepford Wives” are going to look even more plausible than they already do.
Nell Musolf is a freelance writer based in Mankato. She can be reached at nmusolf@gmail.com.