With Father’s Day coming this weekend I’m overloaded with feelings of missing my father, stepfather and father-in-law.
They have all passed on and each one of them has a special place in my heart. Dad passed away a few years ago at 94.
Father’s Day will be different again this year. My son will be celebrating his first Father’s Day. That’s something to really celebrate. He’s a good dad and is involved in doing everything with his sweet daughter.
I wrote a column about Father’s Day 19 years ago, when our kids still lived at home, and both my father and father-in-law were still alive.
“As my wife and I grow older and our children get bigger and less dependent on their mom and dad, I am reminded that there will come a time when I’m going to look back and wish these days were here again. I know because I already find myself on many occasions longing for the days when they were little and we had so many years ahead of us at home, under the same roof…” I wrote in 2006.
That time is here. Time has flown by faster than I could imagine.
I have so many great memories of my dad.
One is my dad teaching me how to cook breakfast at a very young age.
In fact, my dad taught me a lot of my cooking skills as I was growing up. Today, I am a good cook. Nothing fancy, but I can make many meals without the worries of burning them, or undercooking them. It was an important set of life skills to learn.
Dad worked night shift when I was young. On many occasions we would have breakfast for dinner together.
I was a curious child and it didn’t matter to me that we were eating breakfast for dinner. What mattered to me was that dad would let me help with the meal and make me feel like I was important and mattered to him.
That’s what children need. Time.
When I was around 5 years old I knew how to cook several meals. I’ve often told my kids that I was like the child in the movie Matilda, who could cook meals for the family at 6 years old. It’s true. On several occasions I did indeed put the food on and cook the meal for dinner after I got home from school.
I think of my dad every day and remember all the life lessons he taught me.
He gave me my first car. An old, rusted-out 1971 Chevy Monte Carlo that didn’t run. The deal was I had to pay for the repairs and the license, insurance, gas and everything that went along with owning a vehicle. I put a lot of time and energy into getting that car running and on the road. It made me respect what I had — which was Dad’s plan.
I think of the important values and morals he taught me by being a living example for me. He was always a living example of patience, care and understanding for others.
When I was in Cub Scouts at around 9 years old, the troop was delivering care baskets for the needy at Christmas. We went to a house that was cold inside and the power had been turned off by the electric company. My dad and the other dads rallied together and gathered the funds to have the family’s electricity turned back on.
He taught me about thinking of others by putting yourself in their shoes and asked how I might feel if I was in their situation. He taught me so much without even knowing, or realizing he was doing so. Many parents do. A child will learn by example — good or bad.
He taught me some of the most important ingredients in being a good father to my children — patience, care, involvement, love and understanding.
I’ll be the first to admit that when it comes to spending time with my children — I’m a big, fat hog. Many might agree that I’m a big, fat hog regardless, but since they were infants, my wife and I have made every effort to spend as much time with our children as possible.
It’s not as easy now that they’re grown up and married and living on their own, but we still try.
What I tried to make my children understand when they were young is that time is a valuable thing that can’t be replaced. We should try to take advantage of the time we have together and not worry over the little things.
I would love to call my dad and talk to him on Father’s Day, get some advice from him about a few things and hear about his golf game, church event, or his visit to the Moose Lodge. Unfortunately, those days are gone, and all I have are the memories.
My advice for a Father’s Day gift this year is that if you still have your father in this world, call him and thank him for the sacrifices he made for you. If you can’t be together, spend some time talking to each other on the phone and then spend some time together as soon as you can.
The best Father’s Day gift you can give your dad this year is the gift of time.
That’s what dads need. Time.
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