To anyone in the United States of America, it comes as no surprise that our nation is seemingly at a crossroads. Recent events have brought this fact to the forefront.
This is not about liberals and conservatives, Republicans or Democrats, those in power and those who are not. It is about us. All of us. It’s about me and it’s about you. It is about our friends, neighbors, family members and co-workers. And yes, it is about leaders and followers too. Not only are political candidates and “influencers” shot in public for what they say and do, it goes much further than that.
Children are killed while praying at church pews because they are Catholic. Americans in other houses of worship are shot and killed because they are black or Jewish. A Ukrainian refugee is stabbed on a subway train for no apparent reason. And children are committing cold-blooded murders at their schools so often that it is just another day in the 24-hour news cycle. So, if you feel it’s not about you or those who see things as you do, and it’s “the other side” that is completely at fault, you can stop reading now. Because the cure to what ails our nation is found on the wall directly above my bathroom sink. And yours. And everyone else’s. We all need to look in the mirror.
The secret to a functional representative democracy is not who may be in the White House or in control of Congress. It is not about who better manipulates social media, who creates the more believable misinformation campaigns or who says things the loudest. The secret is in us, and the recipe for this magic elixir contains a few basic ingredients which have been the cornerstone ideals of our nation for nearly 250 years. But somehow, we have misplaced them.
Truth: For more than two centuries, there wasn’t your truth and my truth. The was only one truth. The Declaration of Independence stated clearly, “We hold these truths to be self-evident….” New York’s own Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan famously said, “You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts.” Oh, Daniel, where are you when we so badly need you? What is true or not true has become the purview of our personal perspectives. We need to agree on certain truths again. Truth is the foundation on which our nation and our society are built.
Respect: This means respect for others and yourself. It means it makes no sense for one person to think less of another for having green hair and piercings while that individual judges another for their flat-top haircut and NRA tee shirt. We seem to have lost the decency needed to respect those who don’t share our political party, our sexual preferences, our religion or our skin color. When our son Matthew was growing up, we made a point to teach him that people who looked differently, spoke differently or liked different things were not “weird.” They were just different. At age 6, he understood this. Why can’t we?
Violence is not free speech: The right of free speech and protest in America is as old as our country itself. Peaceful protest is how we have always communicated with those in power who were deaf to our pleas. From the Boston Tea Party to Black Lives Matter, we have had the right to voice our displeasure. We have occasionally veered into violence through looting and burning. And while not ideal, these instances cannot be equated to murder. When we start killing each other over political differences, religious differences, and slights real or imagined we have truly lost the plot. We have allowed fear to take over. We have allowed fear to control us. And that cannot happen.
So, I ask anyone and everyone to do all of us a favor. Please look into your bathroom mirror and ask “What am I so afraid of”? Why am I so afraid of my fellow citizens, my fellow human beings, to consider harming or killing them? Or better yet, why do I tolerate or even celebrate those who do? I would ask that you value the perspectives, the preferences, and the lives of everyone in your neighborhood, your state and your country. After all, those who are different than you aren’t “weird,” they are just different. And nobody should have to lose their life over that.