As I get older with each passing day, I find myself inching closer and closer to the “Get off my lawn!” segment of society. This is the group of people who pine for the “good old days.”
The 1950’s have long been celebrated in American writings, movies and TV shows as such a time. “American Graffiti”, “Grease”, “Happy Days” and “Leave It to Beaver” are but a few examples of this nostalgic genre. Please remember that these are all works of fiction. The truth of the 1950s was, however, not as wholesome as it seems in these examples. Depending on who you are or were, most of the good old days were not really that good.
The actual 1950s were much darker than these glorified screenplays lead you to believe. Domestic violence, alcoholism, racism, sexism and homophobia were an everyday part of American life before “isms” were even discussed in public. “The Honeymooners” got big laughs on spousal abuse, “to the moon, Alice!” Sitcoms all served unlimited cocktails in mid-century modern living rooms while the men chain-smoked cigarettes. Fire hoses did double duty in American cities putting Black citizens in “their place” while people like Jim Nabors and Rock Hudson lived fake lives in public in order to remain employed. Not so great for them, eh?
There is one component of “the good old days” that I think was an example of America at its finest: Compromise. Yes, a concept that seems to have died a gruesome death some decades ago. For readers too young to remember this, compromise is defined in the dictionary (or Google) as an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions: “an ability to listen to two sides in a dispute, and devise a compromise acceptable to both”; “the secret of a happy marriage is compromise.” Wow. This really takes you back, right?
In today’s America, agreements are examples of disloyalty and concessions are signs of weakness. And while these concepts have swept across the nation as a whole, I would be proud to say that Otsego County has been immune to this disease. But sadly, we are not. Uncompromising sides have clashed, or continue to clash over issues like tax rates, addiction services, county and city budgets, immigration, land development projects, parking garages, housing, mental health, land usage, solar farms, educational stances, economic development, locally owned businesses, homelessness, and on and on and on. We need to try really hard to find anything we all agree on. I would like to make a suggestion for two seemingly simple things for us to focus on, facts and compromise.
Before we can compromise on policy, we need to agree on the facts. Shared understanding of what is actually happening should not be a high bar to meet. But somehow, it is. Agreeing on actual facts would be the first threshold of creating trust. And at least some trust is needed in order to listen to the other side. We need to listen for potential common ground and not just for errors, misquotes or potential “lies.”
Can we possibly speak with each other and not at each other? Is it possible to bury the hatchet without aiming for a point on someone’s skull? The proverbial olive branch was not used to inflict damage to an opponent. The issues that we face as a county are real. They are factual. They demand discussion without demonization. We need points of view, not walls built between each other. Can we at least agree to talk with each other without yelling at each other? If we cannot agree to work together, how will we tackle the shared challenges we face?
The Otsego County Chamber of Commerce is officially offering a neutral site and non-partisan moderation for anyone serious about working through our differences. Let’s talk. Let’s agree on some facts. Maybe one day, our grandchildren will look back on the 2020s as “the good old days.” Who wants to join us?