Being a king isn’t what it used to be.
This is an analogy to exactly nothing, however, take whatever lessons you want.
Out in Roosterworld, aka our barnyard, the chased seem to be faring a whole lot better than the chasers. 6 of our 8 roosters live in “the jungle”. That is, they run their own hierarchy out in our free pen with the bigger animals. The other 2 are working men, each doing Future Dad service for the hens behind penned walls. It’s tough work, but somebody’s got to do it.
But those 6 jungle roosters live in realityland, the university of hard knocks, ruled by the pecking order.
Our flock has divided itself into 2 groups: The Three Kings and the Outcasts. One outcast (#6) was so low on the totem pole, he literally had to move out. The other 5 just wouldn’t let him ever eat. They would forgo their own food just to keep him away. He’d fly over the top of the wire in desperation, peck for bugs, then return in the evening. But one day, he didn’t fly back in and we let him move into the barn where he continues to cue up 2 square meals a day. The other 2 “losers”, Viper and Squam, they attempt to join the Three Kings in the scrum for food every day, but are chased out right away. Instead they are fed in the pig room, away from the others, for safety.
The rest of the day, according to the rules of the pecking order, they can’t cross closely in front of the Kings or investigate some buggy treasure at any length before the royal crackdown resumes. A swift
threatened kingly jab will clear up the matter and off sprints another Outcast before any actual peck. But here’s a breaking news bulletin: the chased are way healthier – in better shape, pluckier and better fed (?!) than the chasers. The bullies spend more time chasing than actually eating. They battle each other for the first bite, sometimes stopping everything to have it out over a particular pellet. In those plentiful moments, the Outcasts dash back onto the outskirts to scarf away. But The Kings also spend part of the day battling to re-establish the pecking order. It’s taken its toll. Their feathers are looking more frazzled than the Outcasts and they sport attack wounds from the constant competition.
It’s like going to Prague in the Czech Republic.Throughout history, Prague was invaded over and over, from Mongols, Greeks, Romans, Turks, the Hapsburg Austrians, by Germany in WWI, again by the Nazi’s in WWII and the Soviets. But every single time, they surrendered without a fight and their city was never sacked, razed, burned or bombed. That’s what happened to The Outcasts too. They chickened out, so to speak, and live with undamaged feathers, body parts or combs. They run away, yes, but they, like Prague, survive intact, especially compared to the battle-worn Kings. Go figure.
Sometimes, it’s the same with people. Medical studies have shown that aggressive, cranky, grievance-filled folks are more prone to mid-life diseases, cancers and immune deficiencies than their opposites. Stress is a huge health factor. Just ask The Kings. Over the decades, their numbers have declined faster than the Outcasts.
Think of it as Bugs Bunny versus Yosemite Sam. When you realize you have become less like Bugs Bunny and more like Yosemite Sam or even Elmer Fudd, you might have a future health problem brewing. Walking around with a habitual scowl in a constant state of stress or battle is wearing. Being an authority figure, like the warring Kings or an angry neighbor, citizen or politician, can be shortening to the life span. So grab that carrot, Bugs, munch away calmly and, like the Outcasts, live to see many more days ahead.
Being a King isn’t what it used to be.
One of the Kings relaxes on his goaty throne
Photo shot by Gordon
Gloucester resident Gordon Baird is an actor and musician, co-founder of Musician Magazine and producer of “The Chicken Shack” community access TV show.