Dear Annie: My entire extended family is in a group chat together. Sometimes it’s fun, and sometimes it’s useful, but most of the time it’s just noisy. The worst offender is my cousin “Daniel.” At least once a week, he sends political rants, tweets and reels to the chat. It’s wearing on everyone, especially my mom’s side of the family, which sits on the completely opposite end of the political spectrum from him.
I don’t know whether to mute it, leave outright or say something. It honestly feels like Daniel enjoys stirring the pot in what used to be a perfectly harmless family thread.
— Not Amused
Dear Not Amused: Send Daniel a private message first. Keep it light, but make sure he knows just how much his group chat trolling is upsetting your relatives.
Regardless of whether he listens, muting the group chat is reasonable. You’ll spare yourself the noise — and maybe your relatives will follow suit.
•••
Dear Annie: I can’t find a reason to go on living.
I’m 62 years old and have no children. I’ve been alone for over 17 years and don’t see that changing. I’m homeless and currently living in a home where I’m stuck and unhappy. I live with complex PTSD but have developed many life skills to cope over the years with some success. I have several chronic illnesses that keep me weak, and I don’t believe I can accomplish much more in my life. I’m very tired of this experience.
I’m not crazy when I say I want to die, but I do. I have considered this for the past few years and believe this is a rational decision.
How can I qualify for MAID (medical assistance in dying)?
— Lone Wolf
Dear Lone Wolf: Your letter doesn’t sound crazy. It sounds like someone who’s been carrying pain, illness and loneliness for a very long time and is exhausted. But I can’t help you find a way to die.
You say you’ve thought about this for years and believe it’s a rational decision. I hear you, and I take what you’re saying seriously. But before making a decision you can’t undo, please give someone the chance to help you.
Tell someone exactly what you told me. Call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or go to the nearest emergency room and say plainly, “I want to die, and I’ve been thinking about it for years.”
You don’t have to solve the rest of your life today. For now, make one decision: Please stay. Ask for help and let someone carry some of this with you.