DEAR ABBY: I’m 29, and my boyfriend is 36. We met on a dating site and were together for three years. He broke up with me two months ago because he didn’t think he could marry me. (We weren’t engaged.) He says I’m the love of his life, soulmate and his dream come true, and I feel the same, but he has commitment issues.
When I met him, I was in the process of getting divorced and ending an abusive marriage. He was the best boyfriend, and, to us, our relationship was perfect. But his commitment issues gave him doubt that I’m the one he’s supposed to be with.
I truly believe that God put him in my life. Something told me he was The One. How can I get him to see that we are meant to be and not to give up on the best relationship both of us have ever had? — TRUE SOULMATE IN GEORGIA
DEAR SOULMATE: I love your sales pitch, but the person who has to buy it is him, and he’s not in the market for a permanent attachment. Believe me, I sympathize, but BOTH partners have to believe the other is “The One,” and the urge to commit appears to be definitely one-sided here.
Remember, you met this man as you were getting out of an abusive relationship. He was kind; you pounced. It would be interesting to know if you received any kind of counseling after that prior relationship, because you may need some now to make sure you don’t repeat an unhealthy pattern.
DEAR ABBY: I was fortunate to learn an uncommon hobby from my grandmother. Because I am the only grandchild who continued the hobby, I inherited her tools. I mainly keep in touch with my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins) through social media, and, because of that, I post my work from time to time. They have expressed happiness that someone is continuing the hobby, so I want to continue sharing.
My problem is that several friends constantly nag me to sell them my items. I work full time, have a large family and volunteer at my kids’ schools, so I have little time to devote to my hobby. Each item takes many hours to complete, and I don’t want to sell them. Also, if I priced them appropriately for the time it takes to produce, the items would be costly.
I have told these friends repeatedly that I do this purely as a hobby, yet they continue to bombard my posts with demands that I sell to them. I don’t want to “unfriend” these people. They are my friends and in other respects are wonderful. How can I get my message across to them? — CRAFTY IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR CRAFTY: Tell your friends you are complimented that they would like to buy your creations, but after spending the amount of time you do creating them, they become like your “children.” Point out that you would no more sell them than one of your kids, and they are not AND NEVER WILL BE for sale. Say it with a smile, or a smile emoji. But do not relent. If the requests keep coming, limit with whom you share these images (i.e., only relatives).
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.