In 2004, I wrote a column about preparing to raise teenagers for the next 20 years.
Our oldest son was 12 then, our second son was about 4 and our third son was born that May.
Really, at that point, with our oldest son just entering his teen years, I was thinking more about the 20 years of raising little kids that would overlap with the 20 years of teenagers. With the age differences, 30-plus years of raising kids.
In 2004, raising small children was the “known known,” dealing with teenagers was the “known unknown.” We didn’t know what would happen raising teens but we had some idea of what to expect.
In the column, I lamented the idea of raising teenagers for 20 years. It was written as a humorous column but tinged with a healthy mix of hope and fear.
Raising teenagers was challenging. Each son had different situations and experiences. What was learned managing one son through the teen years didn’t necessarily apply to the next son in his teen years. However, what we learned raising the oldest son changed how we managed the next sons, while adapting, adapting, adapting, adapting …
Even after 20 years of raising teenagers, even when you think you’ve seen it all, something happens and you realize, nope, that’s new.
And parents of daughters? No idea. We raised teenage boys for 20 years. We would have no clue where to start with a teenage girl. From what I’ve heard that’s a completely different set of parenting skills. Our 20 years of raising teenage sons wouldn’t prepare us for the first five minutes of raising a teenage girl. Yikes.
But an unexpected thing happened while raising teenage sons.
In 2004, we were preparing for the long haul. Twenty years of raising teenagers seemed like a healthy chunk of eternity. And honestly, some evenings felt like they lasted years, or at least I aged years. One challenging summer, I lost half of my hair and the remaining hair turned grey, all in the name of raising a teen.
Our youngest son marked his 20th birthday recently. I couldn’t help recalling the 2004 column and what I had said repeatedly to anyone who would listen or not listen when he was born: 20 years of raising teenagers.
Twenty years, come and now gone.
The 20 years of raising little children, the overlapping 20 years of teenagers. Thirty-plus years – just like that – the children are grown.
The unexpected thing about that dreaded 20 years of raising teenagers?
It went by so fast.
Dean Poling is a former editor of The Valdosta Daily Times and The Tifton Gazette.