My wife and I have been married for 30 years this past May. I’m not going to insult you folks by saying our marriage has not had some bumps and potholes along our way. I think anyone who has been married for any length of time could make that statement. But I can say, with some authority, that my wife and I have managed to weather the foibles of cohabitation at least as well as any couple who professes genuine love for each other. And we do.
I think the best place to begin is by saying I’m not the easiest person to live with. I know, that may be hard to believe but, full disclosure, I’m kind of a slob. Plus, I’m a card-carrying, fully-authorized procrastinator. My wife, on the other hand, is nearly a saint. To wit.
What I love about my wife … is that she doesn’t carry a grudge for very long. She’ll get all bent out of shape over something irritating I’ve done (and God knows, there’s always something irritating I’ve done), but within 20 or 30 minutes, I’m back in her good graces. That doesn’t mean she’s forgotten my indiscretion, just that, in the grand scheme of things, she’s OK with granting me early parole.
What I love about my wife … is her compassion. Not just for me, but for all of the other people in her orbit. Her brothers and sister and their spouses, her sons, her daughters-in-law, her grandchildren and especially the largely-unknown folks who are among the multiple hundreds dropping by our church on the third Saturday of every month to receive her lovingly-prepared Reach Meals. It is truly a labor of love for my special lady when she shops for, plans and prepares her special brand of home cookin’ for literally anyone who can avail themselves in a car.
What I love about my wife … is her constant thoughts of me. I don’t mean she yearns for me, but rather that she knows my favorite things I like, and she remembers them at the market. I’m talking meals, for sure, but also my fondness for sweets and crunchy things, as we call salty snacks. And every now and then she’ll whip up a peach cobbler, or maybe some egg salad, just because. It makes me feel loved every time.
What I love about my wife … is she remembers the kind of clothes I like to wear. My shopping days are in my rear-view mirror, so she keeps that in mind when she finds herself in a men’s department. I buy a fair amount of clothing online, but my wife knows what I like to wear, and sometimes surprises me with new shirts to replace the ones that have become too stained or too worn for her to be seen with me in public. Alright, there might be some personal motivation for her picking out my clothes, but it still counts.
What I love about my wife … is she doesn’t complain about having to drive me everywhere. I surrendered my driver’s license a couple of years ago because my neuropathy has affected my ability to safely operate the accelerator and the brake. As a result, my wife has to drive me every time I get a craving for a sandwich, need a haircut or have to see a doctor, which we seniors spend many hours doing each month.
What I love about my wife … is that we’re still on each other’s wavelength. If we’re having a conversation about something or somebody, we very seldom disagree, plus we’re always able to see things from each other’s perspective. We have learned over the years that there are hot button topics that are better left unpushed, but they’re really very few.
What I love about my wife … is that we still keep the lines of communication open with each other. When we spend nine or 10 hours in the car traversing the highways between Cumberland and our North Carolina condo, we very rarely go more than 10 miles without talking about something. Even the most mundane topics can keep our brains in gear while we battle the boredom of clicking off miles.
And last, but far from being least, what I love about my wife … is that she still loves me. After 30 years of living together, we still have basic respect for each other, we still love having each other in our lives, and we still love being married to each other. Maybe even for another 30?