Hi, I’m MarySue, Bill’s wife of 31 years, and I have asked him to allow me to say a few words on this weekend when we traditionally thank our mothers. But I have a different take this year about this holiday. I’d like to talk about sons from a mother’s perspective, and having three sons has given me enough experiences to competently use this forum.
My oldest son is named after his now-deceased father, John, but we’ve called him Mickey from day one. He is 51 and the father of three children.
His wife has three children of her own from a previous marriage, so Mickey has taken on a big responsibility, but he is truly a man with a big heart. He has treated his extended family in exactly the same way he treats everyone in our family — with love, compassion and an unabashed sense of commitment.
When his mother-in-law contracted a life-threatening illness, Mickey moved her into his home so he and his wife could give her the care she needed, but also to provide her with the one thing we all crave and desire: the basic need to be held in the loving arms of family. His mother-in-law passed on to her eternal reward in the comfort of her loved ones, thanks in part to my son. What more could a mother possibly hope for than knowing she taught her children how to love others more than themselves?
My middle son, Joey, is 48, married and the father of an 11-year-old son. His father-in-law passed away several years ago, leaving his wife’s mother living four hours away from her daughter and son and feeling somewhat disconnected from her family. So Joey graciously moved her and her life’s belongings in to live with them in their Baltimore-area home while they helped her transition to an assisted living facility, which was near enough to them that his mother-in-law could be surrounded by family.
Then, when Joey’s brother-in-law found himself unable to handle the demands of providing for himself and his 5-year-old daughter on their own, Joey and his wife built a completely new wing to their one-story house to accommodate them.
His brother-in-law could now work his unusual hours, knowing that his daughter was safely cared for in the arms of family members. Makes a mother’s heart sing with joy to see her son become such a caring, responsible adult.
My youngest son Jeremy is 47, is married and has two children. His mother-in-law passed away from cancer early in their marriage, leaving her husband and two other daughters. But Jeremy’s father-in-law had a stroke a couple of years later, leaving him paralyzed on one side and heavily dependent on his daughters as caregivers. Soon thereafter, Jeremy and his wife took him into their home in Cresaptown, fixed up their basement with a hospital bed, wheelchair, bathroom and TV, and provided for his every need.
Jeremy’s father-in-law subsequently landed in a nursing home in his native Frederick, where Jeremy and his wife commute to regularly to provide him with the love and nurturing we all look for from our families. But Jeremy and his wife weren’t finished with their caring ways.
Bill and I decided we want to spend more time at our North Carolina condo, and Jeremy and his family are living in our house, with an eye on buying it when they sell theirs. But we still return home every month for me to coordinate a community meal at our church, and to make the rounds to our numerous doctors and clinicians.
So Jeremy and his family fixed up a bedroom for us, so we wouldn’t have to incur the additional expense of lodging every month. He didn’t have to do that for us, but it’s just another reason why I’m so proud to be his mother.
So, on this weekend when we give thanks to our mothers and our mother figures, it makes sense to me to give praise where it’s due.
Yes, I feel thankful to have raised such fine young men, and I appreciate the sentiments sent my way on this holiday. But truthfully, my greatest thanks for being a mother is in seeing my sons become the people I had always hoped they would be.
Thanks guys, I love you always and forever.