Far more than anything else, Americans bemoan bad drivers.
Granted, phone menus have been gaining ground in these AI “assisted” (i.e. debased) times. Still, those who call customer service or technical support are way outnumbered by motorists.
After all, those calls often work quite well, and we give glowing reviews on the surveys that follow, as annoying as they can be. Meanwhile, heated complaints against bad drivers come from people who are themselves bad drivers.
Such as a friend who griped on and on about the blaring horn of a car behind her when a red light changed to green: “I was pouring coffee from my thermos into my cup, and the thermos cap was on the cupholder.”
“So the light was green for a few seconds?”
When she didn’t answer, I told her I’d have also hit the horn, as I do for drivers who, stopped for a light, are looking down. Whatever the distraction, it makes you oblivious to where you actually are.
“Well, people need to be patient!”
“And drivers need to understand that their first obligation is to other drivers, and not serving themselves breakfast when waiting for a light to change.”
I’m now reminded of this after publicly criticizing the placement of the new sign on the road to Plum Island, the memorial for the late and lamented Pink House.
Please note the words “placement of.” The sign itself is worthy of the former scenic treasure and the breathtaking landscape on which it sits. Both elegant and forceful.
And quite legible from a distance, as it was clearly intended – except that, rather than facing traffic as most signs do, it is parallel and very close to the road. Drivers do not see it. On social media, one wag called it, “the rubberneck installation technique.”
Leaders of the yearslong effort to save the Pink House, however, found my complaint “sad.” I had “turned a positive into a negative.”
Truth is, I was always a supporter of the Pink House. From 2016 to 2018, I devoted three columns in this paper to the cause. The decal was on the back of my old Nissan. Would they rather I put their sticker on the car’s side?
Relevant to rules of the road, one reaction to my critique was unwittingly revealing: “Anyone can slow down to look at anything on any road and do it safely.”
The triple use of “any” will make any libertarian smile, but the one describing “road” should be a red flag to the Registry of Motor Vehicles.
Anyone out there want to be behind a driver liable to apply the brakes at any time? On a two-lane, 40 mph road often crowded on warm days?
Doesn’t have to be for a sudden stop. What if curiosity gets the better of the driver who turns more and more to not just see, but read the sign while keeping the car in motion? Anyone want to be in an oncoming car? Or pedaling a bicycle?
Such is the risk unless someone comes to their senses and turns the sign sideways or at an angle. Could be on a single stand. Raising it eight feet would allow it to face traffic while hanging safely over the bike lane.
Meanwhile, there’s something else here worth consideration: What if driver’s exams included written responses to questions about obligations a driver has to other drivers?
When do you turn on directionals? What factors do you consider at the moment a light turns yellow? What do you do to slow down on a road where drivers do not expect it? Or to pull over?
Such a test could be educational in itself as the act of writing leads the applicant to think through sequences and conditions – such as the distance of a car following you. That would produce better drivers.
Moreover, if it didn’t prevent some from thinking that anything goes, it would at least discourage them from advocating such things in public forums. And if they went ahead and wrote it, the license would be denied.
Nothing to lose here – nothing except bad drivers.
Hitch a ride with Jack Garvey of Plum Island (the Newbury side) at hammlynn@gmail.com or at https://buskersdelight.home.blog/.