Some people, like my 76-year-old mother and my husband, make fasting during Ramadan look so easy.
I don’t believe they’ve missed a required day of fasting for as long as I’ve known them. They are stoic about this religious practice.
I, however, am not that person.
Islam gives its followers a number of valid exemptions from fasting, and I’ve used every one. I didn’t fast when I was pregnant, nursing, on my monthly cycle or taking daily medications for a serious GI-related condition — all excused absences.
My mom tells me that I did make it through all 30 days of fasting when I was a preteen, around the ages of 9, 10 and 11. That was back when it was fun and exciting to wake up before dawn for a super-early breakfast with my family. My mom encouraged long naps to pass the time. But fasting is not mandatory until one reaches puberty.
So this year was going to be the year I gave up my legit excuses. My GI issues are largely resolved, and my cycle hasn’t shown up for several months. I made an ambitious goal: I wanted to fast for all 30 days in a row without any breaks for the first time in my adult life — and by the time you read this, I will have done it (inshallah).
Forgoing food and water was going to be tough enough for me, but Ramadan is about much more than that. You’re also supposed to abstain from everyday vices like gossiping, arguing and wasting time. It’s about spiritually disciplining your conduct and mind just as much as your body.
I easily escalate from hungry to hangry, which makes all of the above even more difficult. Perhaps my biggest hurdle would be fasting from despair. Looking at widespread wars, suffering and corruption can often make me feel hopeless.
I started out the month shaky. My stomach issues flared up immediately. My friends advised me to make different choices when I broke my fast. I reminded myself that I had once trained for and run a marathon, so I could get through this rough patch. Eventually, my GI tract calmed down.
My husband pointed out that my daily evening countdowns of the hours and minutes until sunset were annoying. I kept doing them.
Midway through the month, a local pastor tested my Ramadan patience. Life Church St. Louis in Ellisville put a message on their electronic billboard calling Islam “demonic.” That didn’t strike me as very neighborly, nor Christian.
I thought about going to the Sunday service with some doughnuts so they could meet a real-life Muslim and see firsthand that I had no apparent horns or tail. The leadership at my mosque advised me against showing up to a service uninvited. The church’s pastor, Dan Walker, changed the sign and posted an apology. The mosque graciously accepted the apology and extended a classy invitation for the church to visit and get to know the community.
My doughnut diplomacy never got a chance.
On the church website, it suggested that the services are typically livestreamed. When I tried to watch the most recent one after this brouhaha, the livestream didn’t work. Maybe God wanted to protect my Ramadan peace.
Someone shared an older post on Facebook in which the pastor made offensive remarks about those who follow Christianity outside his narrow interpretation, likely implying Mormons and Catholics. Every Mormon and Catholic I’ve ever befriended has been an exceptional human, so I’ll take that company.
It was easier to be magnanimous about a pastor that apologized than the Republican lawmakers who stood 10 toes down on Islamophobic bigotry this month.
Rep. Andy Ogles posted that “Muslims don’t belong in American society” and that “pluralism is a lie.” Rep. Brandon Gill called for “no more Muslims immigrating to America.” Rep. Randy Fine declared “we need more Islamophobia, not less.” Sen. Tommy Tuberville posted a 9/11 image alongside a photo of Muslim New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani, captioning it “the enemy is inside the gates.”
Fifty Republicans have joined a “Sharia-Free America” caucus, while GOP leadership has largely stayed silent. I don’t know a single Muslim who wants Sharia law in America, but it makes for a good Fox News fearmongering.
I would find these statements just as abhorrent if they were about Jews, Hindus, Christians or Buddhists. This is because I actually believe in freedom of religion, a foundational American value, more than any of these yahoos.
Oh man, I was trying to fast from petty name-calling this month.
I wish they would quit making my fasts harder when I’m in the home stretch.
But really, I wish they believed in American values and freedom.
Aisha Sultan is a St. Louis-based journalist who studies parenting in the digital age while trying to keep up with her tech-savvy children. Find her on social media: @AishaS.