As always, the college football season moves faster than Halley’s Comet.
And as we charge into the first weekend of October, with one-third of the season officially stamped into the record books, the results, to paraphrase Captain Renault from the classic movie “Casablanca,” show the usual suspects, at least for the moment, holding the lofty playoff placements, but there have been some early season tasty surprises.
The biggest of which is occurring right in our own backyard in what must be considered a Joe Hardy “Damn Yankees” Faustian type of bargain as the UMass Amherst Minutemen under its Svengali second-year coach Joe Harasymiak are 4-0, tied atop the MAC Conference,and a mere two wins from bowl eligibility. Stunning!
How bad have things been in Amherst, how about even worse than Donald Trump’s approval ratings?
Since 2012 the UMass Footballers have been irrelevant, an automatic W for the opposition as their abysmal jaw dropping 26-134 record clearly indicates. The Amherst Eleven have suffered more losses than the Washington Generals, while maintaining a permanent residency high atop the futility charts, usually finishing a bottom feeding 138th out of 138 in the rankings.
It is as if they were permanently mired in the sporting version of the ninth circle of Dante’s inferno hopelessly stigmatized by its abominable and embarrassing performances which include five 1-11 seasons, accentuated by last season’s 0-12 winless campaign.
But with a hat tip to Zero Mostel, something amazing happened on the way to the McGuirk Stadium as these “Sons of Greg Landry,” led by its dual-threat QB, and Springfield native, William “Pop” Watson III are a perfect 4-0, and the last time UMass stood that tall, “W” was occupying the Oval Office, minus the gold trinkets in 2007.
A Faustian bargain indeed and truly remarkable, and a story that deservedly is gaining national attention.
Next, we travel across the country to the City of Angels, Los Angeles, California, and the beautiful campus of UCLA where one of our favorites, coach Bob Chesney, also has the nation taking notice of the Bruins performance.
In the background with a Johnny Cash soundtrack belting out, “I’ve been everywhere man,” the UCLA headman is one of the poster boys of a coach who has indeed been everywhere paying his dues by slowly climbing the ladder in his stops at Salve Regina, Assumption,Holy Cross, and James Madison, and along the way posting a stellar 132-52 resume.
That coaching performance caught the eye of the “Big Boys” and like George Jefferson, Chesney was giving the opportunity to move on up to the “big time” as the headman of “Sons of Tommy Prothro.”
He has his squad off to roaring 4-0 start, becoming the first newly hired UCLA coach to win his first four games since Henry “Red” Sanders was roaming the Rose Bowl sideline in1949 and Harry Truman was occupying the White House 77-years ago. WOW!
Chesney also has the “Sons of Gary Beban” sitting in the top twenty-five for the first time in three seasons, and has his dangerous footballers tied for the first place in the Big Ten Conference. Another wow!
Moving into the deep South of Starkville, Mississippi, coach Jeff Lebby has his surprising “Sons of Dak Prescott” the sixteenth ranked Bulldogs of Mississippi State on the rise, and unlike the Red Sox the Bulldogs have become a tough out.
“Cowbells Nation” is juiced by the starry performance of its electric Starkville native, sophomore QB Kamario (14 TDs-2 INTs -69%) Taylor, who some are touting as worthy of Heisman consideration and with the Bulldogs coming off its first win over a ranked opponent since the second term of Barak Obama in 2014, and its first 4-0 start since 2019, tickets are at a premium.
On Saturday afternoon, at the Gary Cooper appointed hour of “High Noon” we will find out if the “Cowbells Nation’s” footballers are Real or Memorex.
If Taylor can lead the “Sons of D.D. Lewis” to a victory over Groucho’s favorite team; “When elephant hunting in Africa, it was difficult to remove the tusks, but of course in Alabama, the tusks-are-loosa,” “Animal Crackers 1930”, who have won sixteen in-a-row against the Bulldogs, then he, and Mississippi State’s football will be hotter than a share of Anthropic stock. Wow again!
[Note: The last time Mississippi State hosted Alabama with an unblemished record, Massachusetts’ own Calvin Coolidge occupied the Oval Office in 1926.]
Up at The Heights, Bill O’Brien’s BC Eagles currently sitting at 2-2, have already equaled the number of victories from the abomination of last season, but it will take a Himalayan effort, against a very challenging remaining schedule to scratch out four additional wins and earn the Eagles that coveted, and possibly job saving bowl invitation.
While the “Grump from Chapel Hill,” Bill Belichick and his North Carolina Tar Heels are about to realize that when they strap on their helmets on Saturday afternoon that they’re not in Kansas anymore as the “Touchdown Jesus” Eleven from South Bend, otherwise known as the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame, comes a calling.
As Mr. Rodgers might ask, “Hey Kids, can you say blowout!”
Now for some notes of interest as regards the usual suspects.
Two years ago, no one would have ever conceived of attaching the following sentence to Indiana Football: the defending national football champion Hoosiers are riding a streak of twenty wins in-a-row. WOW!
It is early, but to this point Curt Cignetti’s eleven have hardly appeared invincible. And we are not high on its $4.5 million TCU transfer QB Josh Hoover; he is most certainly no Fernando Mendoza last season’s Heisman Trophy winner and may prove to be IU’s albatross.
In Coral Gables, “The U,” aka the Miami Hurricanes, utilize a roster that is arguably the best on both sides of the ball, but having feasted on a four pack of diabetes inducing sugarcoated cupcakes have yet to be truly tested.
But like the leaves on the trees in northern New England, that diet changes on Saturday afternoon as the “Sons of George Mira” roll into Death Valley the home of Clemson football, to take on “Dabo’s Boys” who are sitting at 3-1 and intent on reasserting themselves as a player in the ACC, which makes this a dangerous high alert game for coach Mario Cristobal’s Footballers.
In Athens, Georgia, Kirby Smart’s Georgia Bulldogs, who just might be the best team in the nation, are once again quietly and professionally going about its business, while in Gainesville, Florida, there’s a pigskin revival taking place in “The Swamp,” as the Gators new coach Jon Sumrall is working the same voodoo magic, that he concocted (43-12) at Tulane University.
His surprising “Sons of Steve Spurrier” have risen to the eighth spot in the nation, their first top ten ranking since the final year of Donald Trump’s first term in the Covid year of 2020 and are sitting 4-0 for the first time since 2019.
“I didn’t come here to be average; we are going to wake the beast real fast,” said Sumrall. So far, so good.
In L.A. with a hat tip to Aerosmith, it is the same old song and dance for Lincoln Riley and his USC Trojans, as the “Sons of John McKay” once again lost a big game in front of a sold-out Coliseum.
The Ducks of Oregon, who were directed by former five-star Nebraska transfer QB Dylan Raiola, who shined in his role replacing the injured Dante Moore, scorched the Trojans, who were once again let down by their ole’ defense that is better suited for the bullring at Seville’s Plaza de Toros de la Maestranza.
To paraphrase the legendary Yankee manager Casey Stengel when he took over as manager of the lowly (40-120) Mets in 1962, as regard to the USC D, “Can’t anybody here play defense?!”
In his fifth season of parading up and down the Coliseum sideline, Riley’s record is an uninspiring and anemic 5-15 against top twenty-five teams, and 2-6 against Big Ten ranked teams, leaving their fans, but more importantly its boosters, edgy and restless,and with no magic solution in sight it is an uncertain time for Mr. Lincoln Riley, and may lead to a change of address. (Sorry Izzy.)
In Alabama, Auburn is sitting 3-1 and hoping to end its five-years of wandering in the bowl-less desert of finishing under .500, while Utah has scored at least thirty points in ten straight games the longest current FBS streak, and very quietly BYU under the guidance of its superb native Tongan coach Kalani Sitake keeps the Cougars rolling along.
In the way too early Heisman race, Ole Miss QB Trinidad Chambliss, Ohio State receiver Jeremiah Smith, and Miami QB Darian Mensah are our early front runners.
Finally, we think it may be wise for Sean Beamer of South Carolina and Frank Venables of Oklahoma to contact local real estate agents, while Luke Fickell’s big Wisconsin victory over Penn State has put his new home search, at least for the moment, temporarily on hold.
That’s it from cyberspace. We’ll be back at the end of October. Until then, Peace and more than ever listen to the music! PK.