Minecraft is not a game for kids.
There, now that I’ve got your attention, let me explain.
Minecraft is a game for everyone.
Yes, there are probably plenty of parents and grandparents reading this and thinking that the wacky ‘cows and blocks’ game is absolutely a kid’s game.
But even they might have to admit that there’s something deeper in there if you dig under the surface.
That being said, the Minecraft movie released this month is 100% a kid’s movie, for better and for worse.
“A Minecraft Movie”, directed by Jared Hess, sees the uber-popular video game series brought to the silver screen after more than a decade of Hollywood fits and starts.
The main goal of the video game, which was first released in 2009, can be broken down by the two parts of its title: mining and crafting.
Players begin in a vast world of rocks, caves and trees and are encouraged to use these resources to build…well, whatever they can imagine.
In the decade since, players of all ages have built sprawling worlds of castles, mansions, railroads and crazy contraptions.
So how does one make a movie about such a game? Well, in the game’s mythology, there’s a dark underworld called The Nether that players can try to venture to if they want, and it’s that adventure that the movie pulls from.
Young siblings Henry (Sebastian Hansen) and Natalie (Emma Myers) are pulled from the real world into the Minecraft world while joined by washed-up ‘80s meathead Garrett “The Garbage Man” Garrison (Jason Momoa) and realtor/petting zoo manager Dawn (Danielle Brooks.)
In their mission to get back home, the group are assisted by Minecraft’s iconic hero: Steve.
Played by the always entertaining Jack Black, Steve traveled from the real world to the Minecraft world, too, and has spent years learning its tricks and secrets.
What follows is an hour and a half of wacky misadventures involving skeletons, zombies, baby zombies, gorgonzola cheese and lava-baked chicken.
If you were a kid or have brought a kid to the movies in the past 30 years, you know what you’re in for.
Pre-teen Henry zips, zooms and jetpacks around the screen while the adults in the gang are left to look on wide-eyed, and ask: “What in the world is going on?”
Mix in a few jokes that only the grown-ups in the audience will get — shoutout to the “Napoleon Dynamite” tater tots reference — and you’ve got a fun enough family movie night experience.
All that being said, did Minecraft deserve better?
The massive box office haul that the movie has brought in already clearly answers that question, but still.
As I was watching, I couldn’t help but think that there was a Minecraft movie to be made for the 8-year-olds who started playing back in 2010 and are now adults, and there was a Minecraft movie to be made for the ‘currently-8-year-olds.’
The movie we got is firmly the latter, and fails to capture the quiet wonder of the game that’s as much a part of the experience as fighting zombies.
A hyperactive kid could sit all day and build a towering castle to the sky and then, as the music swells, look up and watch as a digital sunset bathes their creation in a gentle auburn glow.
Or another kid could work digging toward the center of a mountain, stuck in darkness, when suddenly they break through and emerge into a cave lit by crystals and lava-glow that takes their breath away.
And I caught myself saying “his creation” there instead of “their creation”, because it was actually pretty jarring how the movie wrote the two female leads out of two-thirds of the movie’s main adventure and made it a point to have the ‘boat’ scene that showed how much Henry’s sister wasn’t a creative ‘gamer’ like her brother.
Come on, folks. It’s 2025. Girls are gamers and “Spy Kids” showed us 25 years ago how sisters can be cool and save the day just as well as their brothers.
I give “A Minecraft Movie” 2 1/2 stars out of 5.
Have you seen “A Minecraft Movie”? What did you think? Email Ben Rowe at browe@pressrepublican.com with your thoughts and takeaways.