Dear Abby: My husband and I have very different approaches to social media; He’s all in, and I’m all out. I don’t “do” the internet. I don’t have Facebook, Instagram, X, Snapchat and whatever else people are using these days. I quit using social media five years ago when I realized how much it was contributing to my stress. Leaving it behind has helped me tremendously.
My issue is that my husband is on it all day, every day and he “doomscrolls,” which can make any bad mood he’s in worse. This is frustrating enough, but my real complaint is he constantly tries to involve me. He wants to show me posts or read them to me and expects me to participate in his increasingly bad mood. How do I get him to stop? I’ve told him before that I don’t want to hear it and, if I did, I’d have an account myself. — Unplugged in Michigan
Dear Unplugged: The next time your husband does this, ask him if he realizes how badly it affects you. Tell him you uncoupled from social media because you recognized it wasn’t good for you emotionally or physically. (Sensational news has been known to cause blood pressure to go up.) Tell him emphatically that you don’t like what his addiction to social media does to his personality, and not to approach you with it again or you will leave the room or the house. Then do it.
Dear Abby: My brother and his wife have been married for 22 years. He has always been the breadwinner. She stayed home with their three kids, which made it possible for them to raise a family. He followed his career, which involved a lot of travel. My sister-in-law and I had a heart-to-heart when they were first married about whether this was a good arrangement because it left her vulnerable, but she was sure my brother saw her as an equal partner. It turns out she was wrong.
Their marriage has become shaky, and he now says he’s going to get “screwed” if they divorce because his wife will take “his” money. She raised their kids and ran the house without help, and now he’s saying none of that was important work. Any judge would give her alimony, but he is filled with resentment, and it’s making the situation harder.
I have tried talking with my brother; he accuses me of being on her side. They are in therapy, but he’s being so mean that I can hardly look at him now. How can I help my brother understand that she did a lot of the work that made it possible for him to have his job? — Sister Sees It Clearly
Dear Sister: Let your brother’s attorney and the family law judge explain the facts of life to your brother. He is filled with anger and greed right now and not thinking rationally. You are not going to win the disagreement you are having with him, so for your own sake, back off. I can only offer my sympathy to your sister-in-law.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.